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About Deviant Artist JohnMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Newest Deviations

I miss you.
Why do I miss you?
Why can't I sleep?
Your thoughts flood my mind.
This pain is heart deep.
I close my eyes
And you come to mind
Memories past,
Unable to rewind.
I hurt you
I hurt too
The only wish I have left
Is to be with you.
I miss you.
With all that I am.
All that I will become
A longing man.
Your loving embrace
Your angelic smile
Your heavenly eyes
Go for miles
I love you
I miss you...
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 1 3
An Ode to Rejection
I made a mistake, a grave one at best
I did something foolish, I failed the test
I can't stop thinking, what an idiot I am
I thought you were ready, instead you ran...
But you're not ready and it's fine,
I'll try to forget,
This error I made,
This irrepairable hit.
It'll take some time,
I'm not sure how long,
To heal myself,
But there's nothing wrong...
Maybe, eventually, hopefully you'll say yes,
But until that time I'll do my best.
I love you.
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 2 2
My angel
Angel of life, grace me with your light.
Angel of love, who came from above,
You light up my life with a smile so pure,
You chase away all of my deepest fears,
You're beauty surpasses everything I can imagine,
I could never think that this could ever happen.
You make life worth living for in sweetest grandour,
Depression was the illness and you were the cure,
I found a reason to be happy and true,
And you must understand that reason is you.
My sweet angel, so careing, so fair,
With your milky white skin and beautiful brown hair,
You smile that lights up everything in sight,
You're magnificant eyes, so blue and so bright.
I'll never get sick of you,
I'll never ask you to leave,
My faith is God was waning,
But with you, I now believe.
I love you, with everything I am,
I'll give you everything I can,
I'll never ask anything, and I'll always stay true.
I hope you believe me, when I say I Love You!
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 1 2
What we have
You make life worth living,
With no single regret,
Everytime I think about you,
My day gets brighter,
Passes by,
Bringing sweet memories of you,
Full force,
Into my mind.
I write this to tell you,
That I care,
I'll always be here,
I'll never ignore you,
Never regret what we share,
I know it may be strange to say this,
but I'll never leave you,
In this cold cruel world,
My heart is yours,
My hand holds on,
And my love for you will never die,
Seasons change,
Summer to turns to fall,
But my heart is yours,
to do with it as you wish,
I give you myself,
And everything else,
In hopes that when I see you
that we can seal this with a kiss,
And never regret
What we have.
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 0 0
Unnamed Misery
I see fire on every flower,
A sword piercing every heart,
The moon crying crystal tears,
The sky laughing on our misfortunes...
The darkness is overcoming the light,
Love has lost and died tonight,
Decaying in the Sacred Heart,
You call it a tragedy I call it Art.
No more decadent emerald dreams,
Now all I heed are deathly screams,
No more diamonds in my sky,
I will never again cry.
I couldn't lose something I never had,
I realized that far too late,
But for once I'm finally glad,
That all I feel now is hate.
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 1 0
Letting Go
Clinging onto this Hell I know,
Trying with all my might to just let go,
I crave freedom from the curse,
With all I am to let go of her.
My mind says no,
But my heart says yes,
To feel her fervent breath...
On my ice cold neck...
I must press on,
And learn to quit,
I have to deal with this,
No more dreams of sun-kissed bliss.
Reality now,
Facing full force.
Screaming until my voice is hoarse...
Darkness now,
Light will come soon,
I will find someone,
And we can lie under the moon...
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 1 0
Love Tonight
I Love You.
I see it so clearly now,
You and I together at last,
Flying across the sky on wings of pure love,
Nothing can slow us down.
To feel your hair on my face,
Your lips on my neck,
You're hand on my heart,
Our love entwinded...
Beautiful Angel of mine,
Overwhelming grace,
Perpetual heavenly bliss,
No need to make haste.
Let's bask in this glow,
This love so perfect,
You're mine until the end of time,
And maybe a little longer...
Let's forget today,
And remember this moment,
When we were one,
And never to be forgotten.
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 1 5
Desktop: Sexy Valo by Killerkeller Desktop: Sexy Valo :iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 1 0
Twisted misery tormenting memory,
summing up my feelings in a funeral like eulogy,
Trying to surpass my past,
To to go out with a blast,
Running a 10,000 mile race,
And I'm about to come in last.
Trying to cope without lasting hope,
The dark fires of hell blowing out demonic smoke,
scarring my throat.
My eyes bleed crimson tears,
Seeing the past and through the coming years,
The path is becoming black,
As the sun sets on this scorched earth.
Awaking my eventual re-birth.
I'm becoming a twisted soul,
Much like I was before,
Repair is futile,
I'll just end up where I was before...
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 2 0
Do you hate me...?
Do you really hate me that much?
That you would make vicious illusions of killing me?
Is this really what you want?
Me gone or dead.
I understand you being mad.
I know I've done stupid shit in the past.
I knew our relationship wouldn't last.
But this is too much.
I've tried to be civil with you.
I've tried to work things out.
I didn't give up, you did.
I don't want to point fingers.
I don't wish bad things on you.
I don't talk shit at all.
I don't do anything you think I do.
Yet you continue this malice...
I'm sorry that all this has come to pass.
And maybe I'll make your wish come true.
With one shot I'll be dead and gone.
And you can be alone at last...
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 3 2
What happened?
Where did the loving smile go...?
The blissful laugh that brightened my day,
And chased all my fears away.
The sweet touch of your embrace.
The gentle kiss on my face.
What happened to you?
Where did you go?
Where are you now?
How could I have known?
I'm sorry I make you feel this way.
I had my hand in making you like this.
I wish we could go back before this strife.
Back to when we had a life.
You used to be the sweetest women I knew.
Never could do wrong, never could be cruel.
But somehow you seemed to have fallen from grace.
The once beautiful smile has faded from your face...
I hope you feel better again sometime soon.
So maybe I'll be able to see the light in your eyes.
To hear the laugh I pine for again.
When you walk outside an angel will sigh.
Maybe eventually, sometime in the future.
You will find yourself and change again, for the better.
I wish you well, and a long happy life.
Someday, somewhere you'll make a beautiful wife...
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 0 0
Everyday I grow a little older,
A little wiser,
To the things that complicate this life of mine,
My thoughts swirl to the rhythm,
Of my heartbeat,
The sounds of air escaping my mouth.
Change is what is happening here,
It's what I need,
to complete myself.
I morph myself into whatever I want,
With all the thoughts of being
A man.
I have become everything I've ever wanted,
All the things I could have possibly fathomed,
Are at my finger tips...
I will walk this path alone,
Without a thought of the consequences.
I'm changing,
Like the seasons ,
The  weather,
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 0 0
The Sun's Love
The warmth outside melts the snows,
Like your warmth inside melts my heart,
The thought of you bring to mind,
A joy that I’ve never felt before.
Like the sun misses the moon after a long lonely day,
As he sets his weary head and the sky turns to gray,
He thinks about her while he lies to go to sleep,
Too nervous to make a sound, loves her too much to make a peep.
Tries to realize that he’s alone in the skies,
As he cries the tears in his eyes, he starts to self despise.
He mustn’t give up, he can’t let go, what kills him inside only helps him grow…
No reason to live, and even less to die, he just let’s his glow brighten up the sky.
Maybe the moon will be his again one day, maybe in the centuries come.
But until they realize they were meant to be the sun will always run.
Hiding his face in the cool white clouds, amongst the blue of the skies.
When people asks if he believed in Heaven he said he found it in the Moon’s eyes…
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 1 3
A poem for my Child.
I can't describe the joy of it all,
This euphoric feeling swelling up inside me,
The promise of a new tomorrow,
Bringing with it the promise of a child.
The sun shines much more on the once rainy day,
The dreamworld is becoming more life like,
I'm happier then anyone could ever know,
I have nothing to fear anymore.
I can only hope the best for my child,
I know the child has a loveing mothing,
Who'll care for him until the child is grown,
I'll see the baby as much as God permits,
I'll be there for the child when its on it's own.
My life seems to be fufilling itself,
My life has become something new,
I have seen the light in all it's glory,
I'm starting to see the truth.
I can't be depressed anymore,
I refuse to think only of myself,
I'll soon have someone who'll need me more,
Even more then I need myself.
To all my father,
Who's raised me well,
I'll give this child everything,
I'll be the loving father that I was meant to be,
I'll give the child Heaven, even if it means I'll have Hell.
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 0 0
Black and blue,
Broken it's true,
I lay here suffering,
Hope seeping through,
I can't comprehend,
I f I died tonight,
Who would remember my name,
My face would be forgotten,
My presence dismissed.
Don't shed any tears for me,
I'm not worth it,
I'm not worth shit,
I'm nobody,
A reminder of a reason not to fail,
I'm broken...
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 2 0
I'm not a great person,
I have all the flaws,
You can possibly imagine...
I have no good looks to speak of,
My mannerisms are at fault,
My voice is high pitch and annoying,
My fashion sence has been at a halt...
I'm alone in this world,
Even though no one thinks it's true,
I was alone from the day it happened,
When I lost you...
It's only been a short while,
But it feels like decades...
My days crawl by so slowly,
The ticking of my watch has stopped...
I still have a hard time believing...
A perpetual nightmare,
That replays itself day after day...
I've never felt this way...
All these memories flood my mind,
Everyday is months ago...
I hope you haven't already forgotten...
I hope you still love...
I pray to God...
For a second chance...
You don't have to look...
I just want a glance...
I want to dive with you...
Just one more time...
Into all these memories...
That we've left behind...
I don't expect any phone calls...
Or email messages...
Or letters...
Or really much at all...
I just
:iconkillerkeller:Killerkeller 2 0


Conservative Pagan by TMZai Conservative Pagan :icontmzai:TMZai 22 26 DBZ Vegeta's Desperation by KoopaTroopaInc DBZ Vegeta's Desperation :iconkoopatroopainc:KoopaTroopaInc 2 1
Mature content
The Games --Pulling Trigger-- :iconnekoyashayoukai:NekoYashaYoukai 1 2
Not worth it
He's not worth my time
Not worth my patience
Not worth this poem
So I'll push him to the back of my mind
Just like he did with me
And forget he ever existed
He never did really
:iconstarabbie:StarAbbie 0 1
Dropped Bomb
The bomb has been
Dropped onto my
Doorstep, and
Now I must deal
With what has been
It's too quiet around,
Everywhere else.
As if the world is
Holding their
Disbelief, and
Joyful tears,
And baited
I listen to
Each word he
Says, and wait
For him to
Come and
Take me away.
He's shown me
Something I'd
Never thought,
I could ever
The bomb was
Dropped, and
For that I'm glad.
My life has
Renewed itself.
And the world is
Loud, moving
On in grandeour.
As my smile spreads,
And the heavens
Above shine splendor.
:iconnekoyashayoukai:NekoYashaYoukai 1 1
I reach out for you
All night long
But you're not here,
Nowhere near...
And that's okay--
Cause I know
You love me,
Even though you're away.
You want to be here,
As much as I want you...
But baby,
Don't tell me you can't--
Hear me whisper
Your name in the night?
You can't feel me
Reaching out to you
All day?
Can't you...
Feel my arms holding
You tight?
Baby we might not
Be together, but
We're still together
And as much as
I love you...
That's how much I
Miss you...
:iconnekoyashayoukai:NekoYashaYoukai 2 4
Thanks to you
I can't trust,
Thanks to you,
I doubt everywhere.
My eyes are always
Watching for that
Wandering slip.
I keep waiting for
The time when he'll
Thanks to you
I'm messing
Things up.
Thanks to you,
I'm so afraid
To let go, and
Fall in love.
Why did you have
To choose me as
A victim?
I don't want to hurt him.
I don't want to be hurt.
Not this time,
And not again.
I love him.
But thanks to you,
I'm messing this up.
Thanks to you,
I'm doubting his love.
Thanks to you...
To you,
I'm waiting for the
Hit, to my heart,
To my core, deep inside.
You had to hurt me,
So now he's going
To hurt me too.
All thanks to
:iconnekoyashayoukai:NekoYashaYoukai 1 11
S.K.U.L.L. by Sasukeyaoi1 S.K.U.L.L. :iconsasukeyaoi1:Sasukeyaoi1 6 13 'Doesn't use Sonic' by Toecutter68 'Doesn't use Sonic' :icontoecutter68:Toecutter68 1 3 Lay-Z-Girl by AtomicCheese Lay-Z-Girl :iconatomiccheese:AtomicCheese 22 25
Three Words
Three Words
I wasn't thinking when I said it.
I didn't need to, I didn't question it.
I just whispered it to you, frightened beyond belief.
And I was just waiting for something
I knew I couldn't have back.
But it just felt so right.
I knew that we hadn't had each other
For long.
And I knew you were leaving soon.
And when you said, "What?"
I just said, "I really do."
But it just felt so right.
You see,
We have different
Definitions of what I said.
I believe it's realized.
You think it's learned.
But it just felt so right.
I realized it then, at that moment.
Staring far beyond your eyes,
Lying in my bed with you.
But maybe you just saw the blue in my eyes,
Not the feelings behind them.
But it just felt so right.
I was just hoping that maybe,
Deep down, you felt it too,
Even though I knew
You couldn't say it back.
It wasn't fair for me to ask you to.
But it just felt so right.
Maybe that's what
Scared you.
Maybe you felt it too.
Maybe that's why you
Dodged me for weeks,
Refused me a goodb
:iconrzarthiii:RZarthIII 2 9
Modern Tea Party by AtomicCheese Modern Tea Party :iconatomiccheese:AtomicCheese 24 25 When Chickens Rule by AtomicCheese When Chickens Rule :iconatomiccheese:AtomicCheese 19 21 Design Flaw by settsue Design Flaw :iconsettsue:settsue 2 1
It's over, it's done.
And now I wish, it'd never begun.
This pain in my chest,
Is suffocating me.
The tears well,
As my pain swells.
Why'd he have to--
Go and do that to me?
Couldn't he see I
Adored him?
Faithful and true,
I even said "I love you."
But one little word
And the curses and hurt...
Fists and kicks...
Now I'm black and blue...
I still tell him, everything,
He wants me to say...
But one day,
This puppet will be gone.
'Cause my pain.
Is drivng me.
His words are the words,
That suffocate me...
I can't be here too,
Much longer, I can't stay.
I'll find a way out.
Believe me when I say--
It's over now...
I can't, I won't--
Be touched like this.
Never again, and not by you.
So stay away.
I won't be harmed in ANY way.
Not by your fists,
And not by your words.
I'm free...
:iconnekoyashayoukai:NekoYashaYoukai 2 4
Don't tell
Me I don't
Or that
I can't
We may be
Friends, and
I may love
You, but...
That doesn't
Mean you
Know me
Like you
Think you do.
I know what
It is to hurt.
I know what
It is to cry.
I know what
It fuckin' feels
Like, to
Want to die.
I feel things
Too, maybe
Not the same
As you.
I don't have
To feel as you.
But if the
Situation is
Close to
What I went
Wouldn't you
Say that...
Been there too?
I've been
Through hell.
Time and
And you
Know these
Yet you sit
There, and
Look at me,
Saying "You
just don't
Well maybe
I don't,
But if you'd
Give me a
Instead of
Waiting to
Along for
The fight.
Maybe then,
After you've
Dropped your
Put down
Your sword.
Let down
Your shield.
And let go
Of your
Maybe then
I could
What I don't
What I can't
Ever have
I'm not y
:iconnekoyashayoukai:NekoYashaYoukai 2 1



United States
Current Residence: Harbor Springs, Michigan
Favourite genre of music: Death Metal, Black Metal, Love Metal, Classic Rock
Favourite photographer: Alex Zak
Operating System: Windows XP
Shell of choice: Shotgun
Skin of choice: Yours <3
Favourite cartoon character: GIRR
Personal Quote: Life is like a case of the flu... take some pills and it will go away
  • Listening to: The hum of the computer.
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Was playing WoW
  • Eating: Nothing.
  • Drinking: Water.
I have 10 on here, I had like 80.

The fuck.

Anyway, been gone for way too long. Posted occasional poems.
Thinking of doing more.

Living in Grand Rapids. have been for a month.


Add a Comment:
TheHuntingWolf Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Whoop Whoop!
wolfen89 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2009

Johnny Dimple <3
Killerkeller Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2009
go away big toes!!!

Lozl <33
EmilyRobles Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2009  Student Artist
these people: :community: need to go sit on this couch :couch:
Killerkeller Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2009
You know. I completely agree.
EmilyRobles Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2009  Student Artist
Jessybigz Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2009
What the hell is with all the spam?
I guess I'm lucky I don't get them lol.

Anyway, cheer up buddy, it'll all be fine.
Killerkeller Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2009
I can't cheer up.
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